Escaping our Separateness

By Jon Dunnemann

While they try to escape from separateness by taking refuge in alcohol or drugs, they feel all the more separate after the orgiastic experience is over, and thus are driven to take recourse to it with increasing frequency and intensity. Slightly different from this is the recourse to sexual orgiastic solution. To some extent it is a natural and normal form of overcoming separateness, and a partial answer to the problem of isolation. But in many individuals in whom separateness is not relieved in other ways, the search for the sexual orgasm assumes a function which makes it not very different from alcoholism and drug addiction. It becomes a desperate attempt to escape the anxiety engendered by separateness, and it results in an ever-increasing sense of separateness, since the sexual act without love never bridges the gap between two human beings, except momentarily. - Erich Fromm

Out in the marsh it is near to impossible to gain a firm footing no matter where you step. Similarly, alone on a dark night in the forest one might be quick to grab hold of anything for reassurance. Unfortunately, in either case the first thing that one comes across may turn out to be far more of a hindrance than a help. Life in general, can often be that misleading.

What may at first look promising or comforting may only serve to rob us of our authenticity, individuality, integrity, self-worth or spirituality. My life experience has shown me that there are no meaningful substitutes for these highly important values. Therefore, do not allow yourself to be separated from them, to become the instrument of somebody or something outside of oneself or to have your virtues carelessly stolen away from you.

Pay particularly close attention to those who have learned the art of caring for others and make a strong effort to acquaint yourself fully with a number of their best practices and virtues!