Today would be Jonathan William Smithers-Dunnemann's 32nd birthday. Daniel's brother and Dr. Wilda Smithers-Dunnemann's and my first child. Jonathan left this world at age 11 and I can't begin to tell you what his absence at the table has been like for the three of us and the rest of the family for the last twenty-one years.
Jonathan had enough energy and warmth of spirit for everyone. And, he was a conduit for the untapped potential in his younger brother Danny Boy.
Losing a child or a sibling is a sharp pain that never completely dulls.
Today, it is Daniel who really has the best perspective on this tremendously challenging life event. He says, "Mom and Dad, I would rather have had Jonathan as my brother for eleven years then not to have been able to enjoy him at all."
As a man, a husband, and a father I am enormously thankful that I got to see Jonathan and Daniel's tender and loving relationship for those eleven years. My two little boys are so beautiful, complementary, and unique in every way. Who could possibly ask for more?
For Wilda, a daughter, sister, wife and physician but always a mother first and foremost, it has entailed an immensely heartbreaking loss. Jonathan had his Mommy's tough will and smile . The sort that enables you to get back up after having the life knocked out of you. With help from her Dad, Pastor and Prayer, she fought through the dark night of the soul and managed to climb up and out of the pit of despair and pain to put her other baby first and nurtured him with remarkably dedication, love, sacrifice, and wisdom to young adulthood.
For other parents out there who have also experienced the loss of a child and to those of you who have lost a brother or a sister I'm thinking about you today too. I am absolutely confident that if Jonathan were here today that he would tell you to be sure to enjoy your life, to wear your most magnificent smile, to trust in the power of the almighty creator of all things, and to always bare in mind that everything works together for good even though this is very often beyond our capacity as mortal/sentient beings to understand and at times to accept.
Happy Birthday Jonathan. We hope that you are proud of the way that we are carrying on in your honor while we are temporarily away from you.
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