With the summer of 1968 drawing to a close, I had no place to return
to other than back at the Bellville Children’s Shelter. It remained
unclear then where I would be going to school during my forthcoming
freshmen year of junior high school.
Going back home was no longer a viable option. I had officially become a foster child.
My
first preference was to return to Caldwell where my closest friends
were: John, Brian, Mark, Eddie, Glen, Ricky, Richie, Dave, Glenn, Frank,
Ken and others. I had an incredible psychosocial attachment to my
community. It is there that I felt the most connected, loved and safe. I
was also determined to some how right my past, make good, and stand tall
alongside my friends as a fellow champion either in some sport or other
arena of life before having to move on.
Back then, even
when we weren’t all involved in the same activities we still made it a
point to support our buddies like Richie, Glen and Dave Rice with their
wrestling and we were able to empathize with them and their crazy
dieting practices along with those hot showers that they would resort to
walking through in their wet suits all in an effort to get themselves
down to their correct weight level just in time for the upcoming
wrestling match of that day.
At one point, in the late
summer of 1968, I recall telephoning and begging a couple of male teachers
to take me in for just one year so that I could at least complete ninth
grade in Caldwell. However, it was not going to be possible because in
each case neither of these men were deemed to be able to provide a suitable family
atmosphere for a teenager.
Soon thereafter, it was my
Mother who contacted the Garlette family to ask them if it might be
possible for me to live with them. Their son John and I had been the
best of friends all throughout elementary school.
In my
view, what my Mother did was very loving and sadly I never found a way
or the time to thank her. I wish that I had. She deserved to know that
her love was appreciated by me.
Thankfully, the Garlettes said yes making a second stay in the Bellville shelter a very brief one.
I
then became enrolled at Grover Cleveland Junior High School a week or
two into the school year and I could not have been a happier camper.
John
and I shared a bedroom together and it was awesome being at the
Garlette dining room table for every meal with Mom, Dad and five other
kids (i.e., Bill, Janet, John, James and Eddie) from which their parents
wanted to hear each kid regularly recap the special events of their
day.
The amount of milk, bread, cookies and other food
items that we all went through every day would absolutely blow your
mind. Everyone was sure to see to it that I had enough to eat.
There
were times during my childhood that I would go into a supermarket and
open bags of chips and cookies and eat them in the store mostly because I
was hungry. As a family living on welfare assistance it was rare for us
to regularly have a refrigerator full of food throughout the entire
month.
Mrs. Garlette’s French toast and stuffed peppers
and Spanish rice were among some of my most favorite meals. In fact, she
served Spanish rice and stuffed peppers once a week just for me. She
was a very kind and special lady!!!
Mrs. Garlette would
bring home clothes for me to try on regularly. I have no idea where
they came from but they ususally were a good fit. Those that were not
became quickly gathered up by the rest of the guys in the house. No
questions asked.
On occasion, Mr. Garlette would
personally take me shopping for clothes with the then very small
clothing allowance that the state provided on a quarterly basis.
The
Garlette family made sure that I never wanted for anything that year. I
was very, very happy and I know that I was loved by my new family. It
was evident to me that having two parents: Mother and Father created a
completely different dynamic in the home. The household operated more
like a team. As kids, we all had two coaches and one or the other was
always present and we were equally accountable to both. Things ran more
smoothly and you had the luxury of getting two different perspectives on
almost anything that came up. Consequently, you found needed
reassurance and really didn't have to look outside the house for it.
John
loved music and so did Bill a trumpet player. John introduced me to
Sly Stone, Blood, Sweat and Tears, all of the Beatles albums, Mick
Jagger and the Rolling Stones, and the incredibly talented group YES.
Even now, I am still very fond of music because it is something that can
be shared with others and it truly does sooth the soul. Listening to
enjoyable music helps me to escape from the problems of the day.
Janet
was and I am sure still is a very pretty, sweet, quiet and smart lady.
She served as a ‘Candy Striper’ at a nearby hospital on Sunday
afternoons and I always admired her for the compassion that she
displayed by becoming a dedicated volunteer.
Ever evening,
Mrs. Garlette made herself available for anyone that needed help with
their homework. There would be no excuse on anyone’s part for receiving
poor grades. We knew where to find the help that we needed and Bill as
the oldest and Janet as an A-student both pitched in where needed as well.
If
my memory serves me well, I remember how Mr. Garlette used to enjoy
watching cartoons early on Saturday mornings, sitting in a folding chair
laughing out loud like Santa Claus which I thought was a little
strangle at the time. Though now, having become a senior citizen myself,
I see his deliberate actions quite differently. They look far more like
an important chosen end of week release: a kind of ‘humor therapy.’
What a very wise man Mr. Garlette showed himself to be?
Yes,
I was also blessed to be able to experience becoming a Caldwell ‘Chief’
by playing football that fall for the first time in my life which was
all the more special for me given that my Mother had always refused to
let me do so. She felt that I was to frail to play football. In
reality, I probably was too skinny but I found it really difficult to
accept that I couldn’t do something especially if it in any way involved
my friends.
Our Coach Ken Trimmer used to let Sal LaDonne
and I race each other along with the rest of the team at the end of
every day’s football practice.
We were the two fastest
kids on the team back then. I guess like every other boy I just wanted
to know and I wanted to prove to everyone else that I could measure up.
Honestly,
I don’t think that I ever actually beat Sal in a foot race but it was
one great thrill for me being the only kid who ever came close to
keeping up with him.
Boy, could he move his feet.
Something
else that I remember is Coach Trimmer making me run "sweep right 26 on
1" at least a dozen times in a row during football practice. I didn't
know it then but he was trying to help me overcome the fear of getting
tackled and at the same time to widen my vision when running. During the
next game that we played he sent me in to run you guessed it the "sweep
right" and I actually gained yardage for the team. In that special moment I could feel and hear the whole
team pulling for me and I wanted to do my very best. On that day someone
gave me a chance and they trusted me to do well. That day, I learned
that more than anything else all I really needed was a chance and to be
trusted by others. After that, I could take it from there. Thank you
Coach Trimmer for teaching me that invaluable lesson.
By now,
I am pretty sure that you have begun to see how much I loved what was
and continues to be a very multi-ethnic and working class community less
than 40 miles west of Manhattan, New York.
Although I was
black, being an athlete afforded me an opportunity to break down some
barriers to acceptance from my peers as well as other members of the
wider community. This fortunately extended to the rather delicate area of dating
outside my race. This was still forbidden at the time.
Either
I would have to invent a strategy for dating white girls or there would
be no dating girls at all for me. There were no black or Hispanic girls my
age in my school or elsewhere in the neighborhood at the time.
There were
some white girls and their parents that would permit us to go to a dance
or maybe even a movie together and of course there were others who
wouldn’t think of allowing such a think to take place. Their concern was
probably more out of what others might think of them rather than their
own outright dislike of black people or a mistrust of me in particular.
Those
were simply the times that everyone was living in. However, the race
issue was never big enough in my life to make me feel less than anyone
else. Thank you to Allison, Toby, Nancy, and Karen for the courage,
friendship and kindness that you all showed me.
For my age, I
had become a fairly skilled basketball player. As a result, both Jeff
Edwards and I were invited by Coach Trimmer to practice with the Varsity
players at James Caldwell High School at the end of our freshman
season. This was a special honor that Coach extended to at least one or
two freshman players every year.
Coach Trimmer kept a
pretty watchful eye on me all of the time as all truly caring coaches tend to
do with their up and coming athletic prospects. This is certainly
another very good reason for young boys and girls to become actively involved in
sports.
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