Tuesday, March 18, 2014

A Good Listener

By Jonathan Dunnemann

Life squeezes us at times. Not only is this uncomfortable but It may even make you feel as though it is about to press the life out of you. If that ever begins to happen to you, don't try to prove how tough you are by simply going it alone. None of us are unbreakable. Placed under to much stress we all come to pieces. Ask for help!

Make the effort and take the time to find that someone who will just listen to you while you share your circumstances/situation. Permit me to recommend that you choose a person who will remain neutral, will not judge you, or fill your ears with the things you want most to hear but in the end provide no true and lasting solution that is right for your soul.

Of course, after some time this 'good listener' may need to ask you a few clarifying questions just to be sure that they have understood you correctly. It is also a pretty good indicator that your current anxiety, changes, confusion, depression, external pressures, illness, job loss, pain, or significant relationship struggles actually matter to another human being. The good listener by their silence alone is saying I acknowledge you as a person in need of help, I understand how your very real situation is affecting you at this very moment, and I fully intend to listen to you with all of my self; body, mind & spirit.

Next, if you have carefully chosen a good person as a listener they will remind you of your own values as they have come to know them and thereby reintroduce them to you especially the ones that are a really good fit for the root condition that you are dealing with or facing at the moment. In this way, they are directly empowering you in your important effort to regain your calm, confidence, courageousness, forgiveness, grit, humility, love, open-mindedness, patience, perseverance, presence, resolve, self-control, tolerance, wakefulness, and wisdom which is ultimately what returns you to a place of balanced thinking and being in the world.

Some good listeners may decide to pray with you, pray for you, or simply dust you off and help you to get back on your feet again. Most important of all though, a good listener is someone who will thank you for the honor of being chosen as someone highly valued and worthy of your admiration, respect, and trust. It has also occurred to me that this is precisely the sort of fertile ground where wonderful new friendships should and often do begin to take root.