Knowledge would be empty if it were not motivated by concern. There are many layers of knowledge; the knowledge which is an aspect of love is one which does not stay at the periphery, but penetrates to the core. It is possible only when I can transcend the concern for myself and see the other person in his own terms. I may know, for instance, that a person is angry, even if he does not show it overtly; but I may know that he is anxious, and worried; that he feels lonely, that he feels guilty. Then I know that his anger is only the manifestation of something deeper, and I see him as anxious and embarrassed, that is, as the suffering person, rather than as the angry one.
Excerpt From: Fromm, Erich. “The Art of Loving.” iBooks.
This material may be protected by copyright
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I don’t want to be just some stone that’s always kept in place.
So, will you help me to move at a much faster pace?
Whether from above or below ground it really matters not.
I simply refuse to be some ordinary rock.
At the very core of my being there is oh so much more.
There you will find veins of gold and nerves made of iron ore.
Please don’t view me as just some inanimate thing.
Because it’s material consciousness that I’ve come here to bring.
Word Up! - A book of poems,
A stone grows here
Jonathan Dunnemann
(2013)
Working as I do today in a hospital emergency department (ED) and assisting in patient registration you meet individuals presenting with all sorts of complaints/symptoms. Chief among them is being in pain and as a result experiencing suffering.
So, will you help me to move at a much faster pace?
Whether from above or below ground it really matters not.
I simply refuse to be some ordinary rock.
At the very core of my being there is oh so much more.
There you will find veins of gold and nerves made of iron ore.
Please don’t view me as just some inanimate thing.
Because it’s material consciousness that I’ve come here to bring.
Word Up! - A book of poems,
A stone grows here
Jonathan Dunnemann
(2013)
Working as I do today in a hospital emergency department (ED) and assisting in patient registration you meet individuals presenting with all sorts of complaints/symptoms. Chief among them is being in pain and as a result experiencing suffering.
What I have found, is
that there are essentially three categories that ED patients generally
fit into: 1) those who think that they have a pretty good idea of what
the cause of their problem is but have no idea of what it will take to
resolve it, 2) those who have absolutely no idea what the problem is but
have already convinced themselves, and are working hard at convincing
the triage nurse or ED doctor, that they know exactly what it will take
to alleviate their condition if the physician will only give them
precisely what they want, and 3) patients who will honestly admit to not
knowing what is happening to them or why they are in so much misery,
and who also have no idea what is needed to effectively resolve their
dilemma. This last group of patients are the ones that I tend to
empathize with the most because we’ve all been in their shoes and we
know that it is quite a disconcerting place to be.
Unfortunately,
this last group of individuals are often most at risk of being ignored,
misdiagnosed or re-admitted to the hospital within days for the very
same conditions. Why is that you might ask and you should.
Quite
often, these patients unwittingly think that the so called "experts"
are the ones who will have all of the answers. When in fact, they
don't.
While the vast majority of medical doctors and
skilled nurses are very competent professionals who know their body of
knowledge and remain current with mountains of ever changing empirical
data they do not--know you like you do--or like you really must come to
know yourself.
Please don't misunderstand me, I am
certainly not implying that we should ignore, overlook or otherwise
reject their good medical council or that of other subject matter
experts.
Nevertheless, our lives are not meant to be lived
like silent backseat passengers who have handed over an all important
sense of control over our wellness or our lives to others. When we
receive advice from others we ought to consider asking ourselves a very
important question: who is going to benefit the most from the advise
that's being given. If the answer is not you then I offer you a word of
caution, run away!
That's right, get going and put some
real distance between you and the individuals who are attempting to
provide services that are more likely to benefit them and not you the
patient, client or student.
As a matter of fact, I
especially like what James Hollis, PhD. has to say in a related sense
about addressing the delicate needs of ourselves and others.
Most of us would further agree that it matters that we bring no harm, or at least no worse harm, to others. This noble desire asks that we become progressively aware of, explore, [and] take responsibility for our personal shadow. The shadow includes those parts of ourselves, whether it be our capacity for evil; our insurgent, narcissistic agendas; or our most spontaneous, healing, instinctively grounded selves.
Like
my good friend Gerald Porter,Vice President of Academic Affairs at The
School of Professional Psychology at Forest Institute recently shared
with me, "this just about sums it up"...
Every day, think as you wake up, "Today I am fortunate to have woken up. I am alive, I have a precious human life. I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry, or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can. ~ His Holiness The Dalai Lama
In other words, what I am
advocating is that you seek to fill the open full time position of being
your own best counselor on what you need to do in your life on a daily
basis and then practice that as though it matters. Because truthfully,
it does!
Here is another tool that I created for attempting to positively optimize your potential and your performance:
A Model for Living An Examined Life
The following reflects my broad-based adaptive framework for the personal practice of balanced living across the lifespan regardless of age, belief, faith, gender, disability, ethnicity, race, religion, no religion, or sexual orientation.
Self-regulation processes:
- Goal-setting (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time targeted (S.M.A.R.T.) objectives)
- Self-observation (self-instruction, imagery and attention focusing, task strategies)
- Self-evaluation (self-questioning, causal attributions, and adaptive inferences)
- Study (graphic organizers, index cards, tables, and attending extra help)
- Time-management (planning, allocating, setting goals, delegation, analysis of time spent, monitoring, organizing, scheduling, and prioritizing)
- Organizational strategies (cognitive modeling, cognitive coaching, and guided practice)
- Self-efficacy (choice of activities, effort, and persistence)
- Intrinsic interest (active, curious, engaged)
- Desire to be effective (competence, mastery, and self-monitoring)
- Forethought (attitudes, beliefs, and processes)
- Performance control (mindful, confident, and proactive)
- Self-reflection (self-judgments and self-reactions)
- Meaning (psychological, social, and cultural)
- Identity (moral, ethical, and spiritual)
- Spirituality (belief, faith, and religion)
- Institutional change (environmentally responsible, innovative, and sustainability-driven)
- Social change (democratic, culturally diverse, and egalitarian)
- Personal transformation (authentic, genuine, and nurturing)
- Keen discernment (grasp, comprehend, and evaluate clearly)
- Deep understanding (concept, context, and pragmatics)
- Sound judgment (a basis for decision making, a call to action, and creative)
Runaway - A biography of a runaway youth,
Chapter 17 Seeking Good Council
Jonathan Dunnemann
(2013)
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