Rule #7 – Attaining inner happiness

Throughout the “trying twenties” — when we try this, then try that — we strive to understand ourselves enough to find our place in the world.

~ Dan Millman ~

Amanda Bynes

Amanda Laura Bynes (born April 3, 1986) is an American actress, singer, and fashion designer. Bynes appeared in several successful television series, such as All That and The Amanda Show, on Nickelodeon in the mid to late 1990s and early 2000s, and in 2002, she starred in the TV series, What I Like About You. She transitioned to a film career, starring in several films aimed at teenage audiences, including What a Girl Wants (2003), Love Wrecked (2005), She’s the Man (2006), Hairspray (2007), Sydney White (2007) and Easy A (2010).

She was named one of Teen People’s “25 Hottest Stars Under 25” in 2006, and in 2007, Forbes listed her as the fifth highest paid celebrity under 21, with earnings of $2.5 million."

Acting

In June 2009, Bynes inked a two picture deal with Screen Gems. The first of the two movies was the 2010 teen comedy Easy A, starring Emma Stone and Lisa Kudrow, and the second was to have been a starring role. Bynes also planned to reprise her role as Penny Pingleton in the sequel to Hairsspray. However, Hairspray 2 was canceled. Bynes was also originally set to star in the comedy Hall Pass but dropped out and was replaced by Alexandra Daddario.

In June 2010, Bynes stated that she planned to retire from acting, announcing on her Twitter page, “I don’t love acting anymore, so I’ve stopped doing it.” A month later, Bynes had an apparent change of heart and “unretired”. At the 2011 MTV Movie Awards, Bynes told People Magazine that she’s merely taking “time off.”

In September 2012, Bynes said that she has once again retired from acting and would instead focus on launching her career as a fashion designer. Soon after she took a downwards spiral and went mad, going from the pure hearted child on The Amanda Show to a ratchet woman who pleads for the male rapper Drake to “murder her vagina."

Divide and conquer – that is a key philosophy in military campaigns. And the same applies to the individual. An individual at war with themselves is easily dominated or controlled by others. If we want to become a free individual the way to do so is through individuation, allowing the divided parts of our nature to integrate into a unified whole (Blow, 2011).

Right now, to an increasing number of direct observers Amanda Bynes is apparently lost in some sort of fog and lacking a clear sense of direction. Will she be able to locate her beacon in time, or is she going to become another young celebrity on the verge of being ship-wrecked?

Fashion

In 2007, Bynes signed a five-year deal with Steve & Barry’s to create her own fashion line, Dear, consisting of apparel and accessories. The clothing line launched in stores August 16, 2007. The line was cut short when Steve & Barry’s filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2008 and went out of business completely in January 2009.

Bynes appeared in lingerie on the cover of the February 2010 issue of Maxim magazine, highlighting her photo spread inside. She stated, “I think every shot … was sexy” and that the new look is “who I am.”

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Bynes)

Chances are, that we have all been in a rain storm before that we thought would never end. Despite your best efforts you were bound to get thoroughly drenched. Consider this, why not go ahead and accept that you are completely out of your element? Try thinking like a duck. Let that persistent downpour simply roll off your back. The sun will indeed come out again. But between now and then, do what most ducks do quite well; swim on.

Achieving happiness is the great struggle of our lives. Yet we often treat it as a by-product of the other things we do such as work, marriage, family, shopping. It’s not: it’s the essence of what we strive to be.

A path to knowledge, Bertrand Russell style: we experience things, we break them down into their simplest form, we form opinions, we build those opinions into a view of ourselves and our place in the world. If you’re thinking ‘everybody does that’, you’re right and wrong (Phillips, 2011).

When our boys were young, they watched the television series “All That” together. It was very entertaining. Both Amanda and her equally talented co-stars were always having a ball and they made their audience feel as though they were participating in their escapades. An added pleasure was that the writers material was always appeared to be spot-on.

Once Amanda got her own TV show it was evident to me that she was on her way to comedic stardom. Her passion for what she was doing was completely front and center and there was no doubt in my mind that she was born to be in front of the camera entertaining others.

If I could now ask Ms. Bynes just three questions, they would be 1) Does she find acting to be emotional satisfying? 2) If not, why not? and 3) What does she intend to do about it?

We all learn from our experiences, but rarely by reflecting on those experiences (Phillips, 2011).

Early life

Bynes was born and raised in Thousand Oaks, California, the youngest of three children of Lynn (nee Organ), a dental assistant and office manager, and Rick Bynes, a dentist who also practiced stand-up comedy. Bynes has two older siblings, Tommy (born 1973), a chiropractor, and Jillian (born 1983), who has a B.A. in History from UCLA and has also acted. Bynes’ ancestors immigrated from Ireland, Poland, Russia, and Romania, and her maternal grandparents are from Toronto, Ontario. Her father is Catholic and her mother is Jewish. Bynes has described herself as Jewish; regarding her religious beliefs, Bynes has stated: “As far as religion, I was raised both. I learned about both Judaism and Catholicism. My parents said it was up to me to decide [which faith to adhere to] when I grew up. I’m sort of a spiritual person anyway. I haven’t decided yet on a religion. I don’t know yet exactly what I believe.

Personal life

Bynes started out at University Elementary, and later graduated from Thousand Oaks High School’s independent study program (though she attended La Reina High School, a private Catholic school in Thousand Oaks for some time). She has expressed a desire to attend New York University in the near future. She briefly moved into an apartment in Hollywood, California, but has since returned to her family home in Thousand Oaks. Bynes is interested in drawing and fashion design, having commented that she is “the girl whose biggest nightmare would be to lose my makeup bag while traveling.”

In 2007, Bynes spoke out against becoming another wild Hollywood star: “I think I’ll go out as much as I’ve ever gone out… which is not a lot. I like to dance and stuff, but drinking isn’t good for you in any way. It’s not good for your skin; it makes you feel horrible. So, drinking-wise, no”. She restated these ideas in interviews throughout the summer of 2007, telling Access Hollywood: “I like being with my family and friends, and I don’t need to be out at the clubs.” In an interview in December 2007, Bynes described how her parents taught her about alcohol.

Bynes has since stated that she is “reevaluating” how to spend her social time. In the January 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan, she stated: “I used to be known as the girl who was anti the club scene. But I’m finding a balance. I can have a drink and dance if I want. You have to go out to meet people and guys. I’m in that phase where I just want to have fun.”

According to reports, Bynes has permanently moved from Los Angeles to New York to begin her fashion career. I must admit that I am curious to know just how well this is going for Amanda. Is she putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with it? In the book Conquest for Happiness, author Betrand Russell, “tells us to work it for ourselves” and “offers what he considers to be basic truths: that we can’t rely on a god to sort things out for us (and certainly not in a way that will promote our personal happiness), that many of the principles by which we are raised are not designed to make us happy, and that we all have the capability to be happy through taking action, rather than waiting for happiness to be thrust upon us (Phillips, 2011).”

We’re accustomed to shopping ourselves happy, medicating ourselves happy or drinking ourselves happy; even if they don’t work, we’re definitely giving all three our best shot.

Legal problems

On March 7, 2012, Bynes was stopped by Los Angeles police for talking on her cell phone while driving. On April 6, she was arrested and charged with driving under the influence after side-swiping a police car in West Hollywood at 3 a.m. Her bail was set at US$5,000, but she was released the next morning without being required to post bail. On June 5, Bynes was officially charged with driving under the influence. On September 4, Bynes was charged with [the related offenses of] leaving the scene of two separate accidents, one on April 10 and another on August 4, without providing proper information.

On September 6, the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) in California suspended Bynes’ driver’s license. DMV officials did not state a reason or when the suspension took effect. On September 16, Bynes had her black BMW officially impounded after driving with a suspended license and on September 21, she was officially charged with driving with a suspended license On September 27, she pled not guilty to two charges of hit-and-run with her court date set for December 17.

On December 14, 2012, it was announced that Bynes had reached a settlement with the other parties in the alleged hit-and-run incidents from April and August and that the charges were dismissed."

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Bynes)

To really get what you want out of life, “you have to be prepared to change everything and anything about yourself (Phillips, 2011).”

Amanda Bynes Shares Photo Of Her Boobs On Instagram To Kick Off The New Year Posted: 01/02/2013 10:07 am EST

Amanda Bynes didn’t have the greatest 2012, and she’s kicked off 2013 in an unexpected way.

The 26-year-old, who made headlines last year for multiple car accidents and bizarre displays of behavior, shared a photo of her boobs on Instagram to celebrate the new year.

Bynes shared a close-up photo of her cleavage busting out of what possibly classifies as a shirt — and narrowly avoided a double nip slip, writing, “Happy New Year.”

Following false reports that the actress had gotten completely naked in a tanning salon, the actress defended herself and allegations of strange behavior, telling Us Weekly, “I’m not ‘troubled.’ I don’t get naked in public. I’m 26, a multi-millionaire, retired. Please respect my privacy.”

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/02/amanda-bynes-boobs-instagram-new-year_n_2395809.html)


If Bynes wants her privacy, then she has a particularly strange way of showing it.


Amanda Bynes’ Cheek Piercing: Actress Reveals New Bling

The Huffington Post By Erin Clements Posted: 01/16/2013 9:24 am EST

When you’re a self-proclaimed retired multi-millionaire at age 26, what’s left to do?

Get your cheek pierced, that’s what.


Amanda Bynes led us to a new Tumbler account via Twitter earlier this week, and shared a photo of herself sporting a stud on her left dimple.

The actress, who spent much of 2012 making headlines for her vehicular troubles and odd behavior, announced another new addition to her social media presence in November, when she joined Instagram and posted a self-image showing off her beloved red turban.

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/16/amanda-bynes-cheek-piercing-photo_n_2486484.html)


Evidently, Amanda Bynes has got to much time on her hands and doesn’t know how to best utilize it. If asked, I would suggest that she identify what she needs to do on a monthly basis in order to move closer to becoming the fashion designer or artist or whatever else she wishes to become. For starters though, she needs to increase her self-awareness.

There’s no escaping the drudgery of daily life because there’s a link between the far-off goals, monthly plans (getting good grades, creating a portfolio, earning a degree), and making adjustments day-to-day accordingly. But this is the best way to ensure success.

Amanda Bynes has a future to think about if she really wants to reap the reward that Benjamin Franklin did. “On the whole,” Franklin concluded, “tho’ I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it (Baumeister and Tierney, P. 71, 2011).”

When [Bertrand] Russell engages with the’ multitude of men and women’ he doesn’t fall into the trap of promising success or attaching easy labels to difficult concepts, and he doesn’t guarantee easy results. He doesn’t reassure us that achieving happiness is easy: [his] book promises a ‘conquest’, suggesting an arduous battle that it’s easy to lose. In short he doesn’t dumb down what, for many of us, is the hardest and most confusing struggle of our lives: the struggle to be happy.

Instead he offers a far richer future for us. His method? Thinking clearly and reaching a conclusion from first principles. He shows us the value of logic and the therapeutic value of taking control of our own thoughts and ignoring easy solutions (Phillips, 2011).

In short, we need to treat Amanda like an adult and she needs to treat herself like an adult. More importantly, Amanda must clarify for herself who she is, what she no longer believes about life, what her new convictions are, and what her personal habits, rituals and values will be. She is the only one who can make sense of her life?

Where she could probably benefit from some help is in finding the best way from among the available options to actually approach these matters. It is quite acceptable for her to see the world differently at this stage in her life and to even reject things that she once believed to be true and valid. But there also needs to be someone on hand to introduce her to a new set of tools that can be used to map her way forward to new and exciting places that give Amanda a rewarding sense of purpose, self-worth and dignity. Once found, she should then immerse herself in the struggles and challenges that are necessary to bring about her happiness and lasting personal fulfillment.

JD