Monday, September 29, 2014

The empty space here in the bed of my heart

From time to time, it seems that I am much more aware of the empty space here in the bed my of heart. It is the place where I would most eagerly welcome being embraced, loved, and experiencing the sense that my life matters deeply to someone else. I regularly enter into this cold and lonely space. Mostly I just stand there, near the center of darkness, and wait for a possible stirring, a hint of light or the sweet smell of an opposite or otherness. However, typically the only sign of human life that I ever experience in this void is that of my own breathing.

Perhaps the overlooked companion in this space is insecurity to which I either accept with a half-heart or flat-out reject once and for all. But then what? Am I enough for myself to not end up feeling overwhelmingly cheated, inadequate or neglected on some level? It is clearly time for me to stop desperately looking for something that is missing and to start experiencing a deepening sense of contentment in simply being. This, I do believe, is the unobstructed path toward personal liberation.

After all, no matter how imaginatively we try to create or find something to neatly cohabit this empty space in our heart it general does not work out that way. If a romantic someone or something far greater is divinely meant to share in the occupation of this very personal space then it will eventually show up in its own time. When it does, it is best to be prepared to honor its freedom to come and to go at will with the same degree of acceptance, enthusiasm, and warmth as you felt when you embraced this special guest upon your first encounter. Otherwise, whether you recognize it or not your are essentially inviting loneliness into your heart. When in reality, loneliness like emptiness is a consequence that more often than not can be wisely averted. 
Learning to recognize these consequences can help lead us to the source of them--the assumptions that govern our experience of life and of self. Whatever we believe about ourselves will be perceived as part of us. Since we are already programmed to believe in our assumptions and to regard their presence and effects as an aspect of ourselves, our inclination will be to excuse and defend them. In order to approach their dissolution with the necessary intent, we must clearly experience that the pain of these consequences is caused by our own assumptions. Only then will we be able to regard these beliefs and reactions as separate from us, and as unnecessary. Once it becomes clear that our assumptions and their consequences are indeed not our real-selves, our resistance begins to subside and we become empowered to let them go.
- Peter Ralston, The Book of Not Knowing

According to Ron Rathbun, author of The Silent Miracle (1999)
Upon learning to liberate yourself from your most obvious psychological baggage, you will realize that you are no longer being distracted by, or wasting time on, annoying thoughts and feelings; therefore, you will have more free time to enjoy yourself. It will seem as if time appears out of nowhere because you are no longer being consumed by your problems. You will begin to have time to really live your life and feel your connection with yourself  and the word around you. You will begin to see sunrises as if for the first time. You will begin to notice the wind caressing your face. You will become more aware of the beauty of nature. All of life will appear sharper and more vibrant because your mind is calm enough to experience and feel the magnificence surrounding you.    

It is here, that you may begin anew to enjoy the inner gift, to become most familiar with it, and in the process learn to more fully love yourself. The most wonderful thing about this discovery is that it has no age restriction. Therefore, you may delight in it regardless of your external conditions and at any point across your entire lifespan. So, go ahead and breakout!